Keeping yourself and your children safe

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Recognising abuse

Recognising that you are in an abusive relationship is not always easy. Some abusive behaviours are subtle and may happen gradually so you do not notice them at first.

Ask yourself the following questions

  • Are you afraid of your partner?
  • Do you feel bullied or belittled by your partner?
  • Do you avoid family and friends because of your partner?
  • Do you feel as if you are walking on egg shells at home?
  • Do you change your behaviour to avoid triggering an incident?
  • Does your partner have sudden changes of mood which dominate the house?
  • Is your partner charming one minute and abusive the next?
  • Are you afraid of making your own decisions?

If you answer yes to one or more of these then you may be suffering domestic abuse. Some abusive behaviours are subtle and may happen gradually so you do not notice them at first. You can contact a local domestic abuse service for help and support or read more under our about domestic abuse page.

If you are suffering domestic abuse it is important to remember that you are not to blame.

Report it

Domestic abuse is a crime that is often hidden. You do not have to put up with it. You can report domestic abuse to Thames Valley Police.

  • If you feel threatened, are in immediate danger, or it’s an emergency, call 999.
  • In a non-emergency, call 101, the Thames Valley Police 24-hour non-emergency number.

Talk about it

The following documents may help you talk to your children about domestic abuse:

Escape plan

Pack a bag with:

  • emergency money
  • passport
  • spare phone with important numbers already saved on it
  • essential toiletries

If you are in an abusive relationship, you may not feel ready to leave. If this is the case, you must try to keep yourself and your children safe. You can plan for leaving so that you are prepared. Leaving is often the most dangerous time.

Read this advice around safety planning.