Types of domestic abuse

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The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 gives a clear definition of domestic abuse. It defines abuse as not only physical but includes emotional, controlling, coercive or economic.

Some of the behaviours below are a criminal offence, for example - coercive controlling behaviour, stalking, non-fatal strangulation and assaults.

Physical abuse

Physical abuse is when someone uses physical force to hurt or threaten you. It includes:

• hitting
• slapping
• punching or kicking
• pushing or shoving
• strangling or suffocating
• throwing things or destroying property
• locking you in or preventing you from leaving

Emotional or psychological abuse

Emotional or psychological abuse is when someone uses words or actions to scare, control or hurt your mental wellbeing. It includes:

• shouting
• name-calling or constant criticism
• gaslighting (making you doubt your memory or sanity)
• isolating you from friends or family
• blaming you for their behaviour
• using threats, guilt or manipulation to control you

Coercive and controlling behaviour

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour in which someone causes you to feel scared, isolated or dependent. They limit your freedom or choices, control what you do, who you see or how you live. This abuse often happens gradually and you may not realise what is happening at first.

Some examples of coercive control include:

• isolating you from friends, family or support
• monitoring your phone, emails or social media
• telling you what to wear, where you can go or what you can do
• controlling your money, food, transport or access to healthcare
• repeated threats (for example, to harm you, your children, pets or themselves)
• making you feel responsible for their actions
• gaslighting

Financial or economic abuse

Financial or economic abuse is when someone controls your money, employment or access to resources in order to control you. It includes:

• taking or withholding your money
• not allowing you to work or study
• forcing you to take out loans or debt
• monitoring your spending
• making you account for every penny

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is when someone forces or pressures you into sexual activity without your consent. It includes:

• rape or unwanted sexual touching
• pressuring you into sex or sexual acts
• sharing or taking sexual photos or videos without consent
• refusing to use protection or tampering with contraception

Digital or online abuse

Digital or online abuse is when someone uses technology to stalk, threaten or control you. It includes:

• sending threatening or abusive texts, emails or messages
• sharing intimate images online without consent (revenge porn is one example of this)
• using GPS tracking or spyware to monitor your phone
• controlling your social media accounts

Stalking

Stalking is a pattern of unwanted, fixated and obsessive behaviour that causes you to feel distressed, scared or threatened. It can happen during a relationship, after it ends or even from someone you do not know well.

Stalking is behaviour that can take place in person or online. Stalking can take many forms including:

• repeated phone calls, texts, emails or social media messages
• following you or turning up at your home, workplace or in public
• sending unwanted gifts or notes
• using tracking devices or spyware to monitor your movements
• contacting your friends, family or employer to get information about you
• damaging your property or threatening your pets 

If you think you are being stalked:

• keep a record of what is happening (save messages, take screenshots, write down dates, times and what was said or done)
• trust how you feel - if something feels wrong, it probably is
• report it - stalking is against the law and the police can help
• speak to someone - support services can give you advice and help you make a safety plan

Help services

If you are experiencing any of these types of abuse, it is important to know that you are not alone. There is help available and you don't have to suffer in silence. View our help services page to find services that can help you.